How to piss off those peacenik pagans
British pagans, those earth-loving, wood-nymph worshipping, armpit non-shaving naturalists, recently got their Irish up when a landmark of their well-known fertility symbol was caricatured in a stunt to promote a cartoon movie.
The Cerne Abbas Giant is a chalk outline of a man with a club and a boner, carved into the English countryside at least as early as the 17th century. Where once young women prayed to the monument that they wouldn't become old maids -- even if it meant having to deal with men who were apparently interested in nothing but sex and violence -- pagans are now rejecting its treatment as a giant billboard by whining about this "darn great eyesore."
It's hard to say how the parody carving was carried out, as the site is protected by the National Trust, and visitors must observe it from the bottom of the hill. Though viewing it from afar is a protective measure for the landmark, reverent worshippers who have visited the site have also found that it provides the best possible view of the "chalk guy's huge cock."
Want to follow the rabbit trail? Start here