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Benjamin Creme
Complete Wingnut
World Teacher Moves Districts to Get Tenure
If you want a religion full of benevolent aliens and Christ-like spirits, but Scientology is just not “out there” enough for you, why not follow the teachings of Benjamin Crème? Read More...
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Phallus Faith
Prehistoric Pagan Penis Pretty Pissed
How to piss off those peacenik pagans
British pagans, those wood-nymph worshipping naturalists, recently got their Irish up when a landmark of their well-known fertility symbol was caricatured in a stunt to promote a cartoon movie. Read More...
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Spaghedeity!
Pirates vs. Global Warming
FSM: Meatball theology or starchy savior?
If religion is the opiate of the masses, then Pastafarianism is surely their starchy diabetic coma. Read More...
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F.U.C.K.ed Up
The Amsterdam THC Ministry
F.U.C.K.ed up and ready to see God
Turns out your local long-haired pot dealer may not be a lazy, aging hippie after all. He could be a spiritual shaman for The Amsterdam THC Ministry. Read More...
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Heaven's Gate
A checklist for cult-ly responsibility
Got Your Nike's?
In March of 1997, 38 members of a group of web developers, called Heaven’s Gate, participated in a mass suicide that coincided with the appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet. Read More...
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José Luis
666: Your lucky number
Unicorns de los Apocalypse
Self-styled deity and Latino cultist, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, believes he is both Jesus and the Antichrist. Read More...
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Anton LaVey
The One True Satanist
Satanic Baptism: How to Protect Your Kids
Preaching individualism and self indulgence over everything else, LaVey’s left-handed path to his religion truly bit the hand that feeds – and then sucked out its blood. Read More...
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The Rael World
Aliens, Swastikas, and Sex
Take me to your divinely brilliant leader
Not to be confused with the church of Ray Liotta, the Raelians believe that aliens landed on earth. Read More...
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Raelians
Message from the Designers
Art is (Extraterrestrial) Life
Raelism is a fascinating theoretical explanation of life, the universe and everything that no one possibly takes seriously. Read More...
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Scientology
Xenu is my Homeboy
The pinnacle of Me-Ology
Scientology is a fascinating study in just how far a wild imagination, unchecked ego and unlimited bank account can take you on this earth (and apparently beyond). Read More...
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The SubGenius
Give me Slack or Give me Death
Church of the SubGenius
A combination of religion, belief in UFOs and a love of pop culture, The Church of the SubGenius rewards those who seek a less boring path than being told what to do with their lives. Read More...
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Suicide Cults
Have some Kool-Aid
Your Guide to the Afterlife
So you want to kill yourself in the name of religion? Not all suicide cults are created equal, so you’ll want to pick the one that best matches your personality and eternity goals. Read More...
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Up & Coming
Third Party Religion
Who will take the crown of thorns?
Which of these religions has what it takes to eat at God’s big table and lead its people to the holy land? Keep an eye out for these young upstarts of spiritual worship. Read More...
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YFZ Ranch
Little House on the Compound
Child brides and plural wives
FLDS leader Warren Jeffs says if there’s grass on the holy fields, why not pray, ball? Read More...
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Thy Daily Babel

First Universal Church of Kantheism: F.U.C.K.ed up and ready to see God

Turns out your local long-haired pot dealer may not be a lazy, aging hippie after all. He could be a spiritual shaman for The Amsterdam THC Ministry.

This First Universal Church of Kantheism, or F.U.C.K.ed, as it may be called, is based on ancient wisdom, modern science and the enlightening and healing properties of the cannabis sacrament. They believe that by using the fruits of the sacred hemp plant to open our minds, we can enjoy a rich, awakened life, access the deepest regions of our own consciousness and better commune with the divine essence within, say, a really kickin’ Phish Jam.

Raelians: Art is (Extraterrestrial) Life

Like the works of contemporary masters of science fiction L. Ron Hubbard and Douglas Adams, Raelism is a fascinating theoretical explanation of life, the universe and everything that no one possibly takes seriously.

Termed “scientific creationism” or “intelligent design”, the Raelian movement takes big-name concepts of mind, body and spirit, adds a dash of UFO conspiracy theory and combines them into a controversial stew of theology, human history, scientific discovery and little green men.

A World Teacher Moves Districts to Get Tenure

If you want a religion full of benevolent aliens and Christ-like spirits, but Scientology is just not “out there” enough for you, why not follow the teachings of Benjamin Crème?

In the 1970s, Crème, a British painter, began preaching about Maitreya the World Teacher, a messiah who will appear on all the world’s TV stations to telepathically talk about his return to Earth. The Teacher will be accompanied by a celestial posse, The Masters of Wisdom -- a benevolent race of groovy aliens from Venus who will serve custodians of the Divine Plan for the planet. Of course, it’s possible Crème may have misinterpreted the term “custodian,” and instead of a divine plan, we may be in for door-to-door visits from an intergalactic janitorial service.

Unicorns de los Apocalypse

Self-styled deity and Latino cultist, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, believes he is both Jesus and the Antichrist -- a concept that he defines as “no longer following Jesus of Nazareth as he lived in the days of the flesh”. Perhaps he needs a better Spanish-to-English dictionary.

In Miami, de Jesus founded Creciendo en Gracia, a movement that reaches dozens of Central and South American nations and aims to create God’s government on earth. Yet, his main assertions make both God and government pretty much irrelevant, as he denies that prayer, the devil, hell, sin or moral or ethical guidelines have any basis in reality.

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